In 1989 I bought my last "real" record- as in "on vinyl". There have been others since, but they have been mere curios; a reminder of times gone by and perhaps for reasons of parody.
That album was Faith No More's "The Real Thing". I was halfway through year 12, and frankly I think this album got me to the end in safety. Of course, being an album from 1989- even the last 6 months of that decade makes it an 80's album. But really it's a bookend. I'm not entirely sure what the other bookend is- perhaps the death of Bon Scott/John Bonham signaled the beginning of the 80's just as TheReal Thing signaled the end.
All that aside, I want to focus on but one song; "From Out Of Nowhere". Of course any dissertation on "The Real Thing" ought to include "Epic", but that's almost too easy and certainly too obvious. In 2008, it's easy to listen to this song and say "oh... I get it", but in 1989 the musical landscape was very different. Culturally, the Berlin wall had fallen, Bob Hawke cried on telly and Milli Vanilla had not been revealed as a fake.
So from the opening bars emanating from Jim Martin's guitar, some confusion begins. It seems metal, but perhaps a little punk. There's a keyboard floating in and while you are trying to work out what's going on there a double flam hits you and the hi hats open from then on...! What the hell? There's a bass guitar bouncing about in a manner that just ain't right. Mike Patton's singing is forced and strained, yet on brand. What the hell is on brand in this situation? Listen and learn.
Back then I rarely listened on headphones to my favourite music. The only way I got to hear it loud was to turn it up when the family were out and hope Mr Munro in Maylands ave didn't come round/ring/tell Dad later. If I had listened to "From Out Of Nowhere" closely I would have picked up the the subtleties that ipod earbuds now afford me; the subtle doubling of the chorus vocals- Mike P singing with Mike P and the final "wave goodbye" being followed by a whispered "...goodbye".
The song's ending, where it perfectly runs down and then launches immediately into "Epic", is for me the greatest 1-2 opening double punch outside of Led Zeppelin IV's "Black Dog" "Rock n' Roll".
The evenness of this album, and by that I mean genius, would perhaps not have bothered the band as much as it bothered me. After copying the record to tape for my newly purchased '74 Corolla, it became my soundtrack to 1990 as well. I was at uni, had a job as a part time sound engineer and roadie. Every soundcheck that required a tape played invariably meant "From Out of Nowhere". This was the album and for me the song.
When Angel Dust came out in 1992, I was 20, turning 21. I had a steady girlfriend and school days were already behind me. There was no way for "Angel Dust" to compete no matter how good it was.
Fittingly, when I broke up with that girlfriend, she kept "The Real Thing". Today, I have it on my ipod, but its not the same.
I was on TV and I liked it more than it liked me..
Here we go:
Yes, I hit the wipers for no reason in the first bit. It was a subtle sight gag that some have suggested was just me being stupid and not realising that the Ford Focus has its wipers on the right side where the indicators usually are.
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
Ok, I am going to fully break these rules as a/ no one reads my blog b/ if everyone tagged 8 people the universe might implode.
I am gluten intolerant. Discovered 2008. Suffering since 1998. Good times.
I broke a bone in my hand when I was about 11. Fighting of course. No, not my brother.
I bought my pregnant wife an exercise bike for her 30th birthday and lived to blog the tale.
I wanted to be a crime reporter after I left uni, but with no idea how to become one, I let it fall by the wayside. Now that I have the contacts to become one, I no longer want that career.
I used to have a famous and volcanic temper. I did nothing about it per se, I just grew out of it.
The women who left me: women I left ratio is skewed in favour of the ladies. Well played bitches.
I own a set of really expensive roller blades and they have remained unused for three+ years.
I am loving the Failblog. Tales of failure always warm the evil heart.
Now for my own submission.
Last year, I hosted - at Atomic Media- a Halo 3 fight night. It went very well UNTIL an evil Brazilian drink known as Cachaça came out to kill all assembled.
It's 90 years since Beersheba was captured from the Turks by the Allies. It was an important turning point in the war, and of course the site of the 4th Light Brigade's famous cavalry style charge. More about he campaign here.
On the night of 30-31 October about 40,000 allied troops moved towards Beersheba, including units of the Desert Mounted Corps, about 15,000 men, under Lieutenant General Sir Harry Chauvel, in a night march of nearly 30 miles. On the morning of 31 October the British 60th Division attacked Turkish positions around Beersheba. The infantry made steady progress but by late afternoon had still not secured the wells in the strongly defended town, which were vital for the welfare of the Mounted Corps’ horses, many of whom had been without water for several days. Chauvel decided to send in the 4th Light Horse Brigade, under Brigadier General William Grant, with the words, "Put Grant straight at it".
I've blogged previously about how my Grandfather Thomas Hugh Sarre was a Light Horse trooper, how he was wounded and how he was awarded the Military medal. I also turned up this photo in a search of the Australia War Memorial database: Some other info about Trooper T H Sarre:
It was my pleasure and privilege to introduce Casey Stoner to an adoring Federation Square audience. It was fantastic to be offered this opportunity and Adam and I had a bloody ball.
My Xbox 360 has just returned after what I'm sure was a lovely holiday in NSW having his innards sucked out through a USB opening and then repaired and reinserted via the DVD tray. Ahem.
Anyhoos, I've no idea what precipated this cataclismic event, though I gather these suckers get good n warm.
So to prevent a repeat I bought an "Intercooler" a three-fan cooler that goes over the back of the 360, taking its power from the existing power supply (and moving the actual plug in point back a litte as illustrated).
Upside: no heating issues (hopefully) Dowside: Sounds like jet engine in the living room.
My new GPS data logger (more on this little marvel later) can track every movement you make and is super accurate, plotting information every second and accurate to within centimetres. It is fully compatible with Google Earth and fly-overs of your track are possible.
So accurate is it, I decided to try a little experiment: I walked about in our park on the way home from work (the second track at bottom is from GOING to work) and got the following screen grab from Google earth.: So cool- like the full stop?
"KEVIN has done it, not just once but twice, as he confessed last night. Brendan Nelson has done it, when he was 20. Alexander Downer says he has never done it when on official business. Tony Abbott won't talk about whether he's done it, because he doesn't want to fib. And nobody quite dares to ask John Howard whether he's been to a strip club."
"Nobody dares?" More like "No one gives a crap" If John Howard has never been to a strip club, then he ought to make a up a story that he has!
Me? Oh yes, I have been to the odd strip club. Twice this year alone. (once for MY bucks, once for Donny's). In fact I would like to confess here and now that I fell asleep during my last lap dance as I was "tired and emotional" That's how much I rate titty bars. Meh.
Political considerations aside ("Are the women empowered by the money and position they hold over the men?" vs. "Why do university student women with all those brains and education so often stoop top such a debasing job?" blah blah), if you are a group of 10 or so men, then best of luck getting into a bar/nightclub that isn't a strip club at 1am on a Friday/Saturday night.
I remember my old mate Dan Tehan's bucks night- we ended up in a strip club at about 1am despite trying to get into about 3 bars as a group and even failing when we broke up into groups of two. In the end we could either go to a gay bar or a boob bar.
Chinese Market Awash in Fake Potter Books - New York Times
I freaking love this- fake Harry Potter books are for sale in China! I am reading The Last Harry Potter as we speak (no spoilers please!), but I really want to read some of these:
"These include "Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Relative Prince," a creation whose name in Chinese closely resembles the title of the genuine sixth book by Ms. Rowling, as well as pure inventions that include "Harry Potter and the Hiking Dragon", "Harry Potter and the Chinese Empire," "Harry Potter and the Young Heroes", "Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon", and "Harry Potter and the Big Funnel"."
My guesses on the plot for these: "Harry Potter and the Hiking Dragon". The Dragon comes out of hiding with the crouching tiger and he's ready for some campfire side fun. Kum bah yah and bring your own marshmallows to this rollicking tale! "Harry Potter and the Chinese Empire," A truly splendiforous tale about Harry's life after graduating from the First Hogwarts Normal School of Hunan, when he travels with Professor Yang Changji, his high school teacher and future father-in-law, to Beijing during the May Fourth Movement in 1919. Turns out that Professor Yang holds a faculty position at Peking University. Thanks to Yang's recommendation, Harry works as an assistant librarian at the University with Li Dazhao as curator. Harry registers as a part-time student at Beijing Wizards University and audits many lectures and seminars by famous wizards such as Chen Duxiu, Hu Shi, Qian Xuantong, etc. During his stay in Beijing, he read as much as possible, and through his readings, he is introduced to Communist theories. Read More "Harry Potter and the Young Heroes" It's Harry Potter, only with Young Heroes instead of those losers Hermione, Ron et al. About time eh?! "Harry Potter and Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon" Harry is very bored and sleepy while sitting with his older half-sister outside, until he sees a White Rabbit looking at his watch and talking to himself. He follows the Rabbit down a very deep rabbit hole and ends up far beneath the ground in a hall with a tiny locked door that leads to a beautiful garden. He eats and drinks things that make him change in size, but he is still unable to get through the door into the garden.
When he becomes huge, he cries in frustration and when he shrinks, he is small enough to swim around in a pool made of her own tears. In the pool, he encounters many creatures, including a Mouse. The creatures and Harry manage to get out of the pool and dry off, but Harry is soon left alone... "Harry Potter and the Big Funnel" Simply put, this is the greatest Harry Potter tale of all. Let me set the scene..
Take one Harry Potter and add a fuck-off BIG FUNNEL and that's about the sum of it. Harry Potter, BIG FUNNEL...!
This is what the line in the sand looks like: Look at that fat bastard. 100 kilos of double chin.
So, given I have had enough of looking like Eddie McGuire, what to do about it?
The way to lose weight is pretty simple: burn more than you consume (sort of like Co2 offsets). You could go on a diet of raw lard and as long as you burn it off, then you'll lose weight. Your arteries will be clogged like a Russian mine after a cave in, but you'll have calves to die for. (apologies/thanks Bill Hicks).
So I'm attacking it on multiple fronts. I bought a footy for kicks in the park with Rachel. She kicks it (badly. Sorry babe, but while you can boot it further than most MEN, your accuracy leaves a little to be desired) and I run and get it and kick it back. My reco'd knee dislikes this activity, but that's because my knee does not like the 100 kilos (+ g-forces) bashing through it. Tough luck bungo!
I also re-jigged my Cannondale bicycle with new tyres and what-nots (a service is next). I stopped kidding myself about how much I go mountain biking and put road semi slicks on it and run them at 65psi. Rolling resistance is perfect! It's still lovely to ride and it was most gratifying to know I can wheelie 1km+ as ever. Even when fat.
So I rode to work yesterday as an opener and it was AWFUL. The ride home was better and faster so already my body is adjusting to the need for exercise.
Exercise covered. I'll ride in 3 days a week; work schedule permitting. I'll also kick the footy on weekends and ride a bit where possible. I've broken out the winter wetsuit, so if we get some wind on the weekend, I'm up for that to.
Now for the diet. Here's what's out:
Mid afternoon Sneaky Snickers bar. Dried apricots/carrots: in.
Three coffees a day with sugar and full cream milk. In: skinny latte and sweetener.
Crumpets with lashings of butter and peanut butter. In: sultana bran & skinny milk.
Fast food for lunch. In: soups, salads, sandwiches.
Big dinners. In: light dinner, early dinner.
Mid week alcohol. No more nightly beers. In: occasional mid week red wine.
Mid morning bacon and egg sandwich. In: not skipping breakfast.
Current weight: 100kgs. 220lbs. Initial goal weight: 91kgs This will move my BMI to 24.9 (normal!) Ultimate goal weight: 85kgs
Rushdie and Lakshmi to divorce | News | Guardian Unlimited Books: "Only two weeks on from his acceptance of a knighthood, which provoked an international furore, Salman Rushdie is in the news again. He and his wife, Padma Lakshmi, are to divorce after three years of marriage."
This was one of those marriages where many men were like "yeah, you go dawg!". Others were just old fashioned jealous. Some felt it had a touch of the J. Howard Marshall/Anna Nicole's. Me? I just wished I could write like ol' Salman (without the Fatwah mind you, that would be rather inconvenient)
I hate banks; not because of all of the historical reasons to hate them, but because they work in such an arse-about customer service manner.
Case in point: my new card does not work all the time. It doesn't scan at most EFTPOS machines and even the odd ATM hurls it out.
So I asked for a new one via the secure email:
Hiya,
Seems my near-new credit card is faulty- it's only a few months old and the stripe rarely works in EFTPOS machines (though ATMS are ok)
Can I order a new card? Dear god don't make me visit a branch....
Tom Reynolds
I thought that was fine, if a little sarcastic. (I really hate going to branches)
The reply:
Dear Mr. Reynolds,
Thank you for your request for a replacement credit card for account number : XXXX-XXX-XXXX
On reviewing your credit card we are unable to re-order a replacement card since your account is currently over the credit limit. Once your account is within the credit limit of $XXXX, we will be able to re-order a replacement card for you.
Upon reviewing your accounts, we would also like to extend you an invitation to have a complimentary meeting with one of our financial planners in your local area to review your current financial situation and future financial goals. Financial Planners also specialise in tax effective investment and insurance strategies, superannuation, retirement income, life insurance and income protection.
If you would like to meet a NAB Financial Planner, please reply via a return message with your contact number and the best time to contact you and we will organise for a Specialist to call you.
Should you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact us via this secure messaging service or by calling National Australia Bank on 13 22 65 or IDD +61 3 8641 9083. Monday - Friday 8.00am till 8.00pm, (Melbourne time, GMT+10).
Now lets get a few things clear: yes I am overdrawn: by about 1.4%. For a week. The bank have previously offered an even higher limit (I refused).
They have recently supplied me with a faulty card (my previous one lasted until it expired), but refuse to send me a new card until I pay up. I always make the minimum payment (usually more thanks to my random consumerism), so they hardly need to take the big stick approach (especially as they earn whopping great loads of interest due to my mad, ceaseless consumerism). Refusing me a card until I pay a pitiful amount is just classic. And rude as hell.
But they are not done, they decided to "review my accounts" (I asked for no such review to take place) and then "offer" me the opportunity to see a financial planner. Let's not fool about people: the financial adviser is not going to do the following:
"Teach" me to save.
Encourage me to lower my credit limit.
Change my banking set up to reduce my fees.
The FA will however:
Talk about home loans
Personal loans
Business loans
Increasing my credit limit
Increasing my number of accounts (and therefore fees)
So NAB, riddle me this: why would you say "no card until you pay" on the one hand but then try to get me to borrow more on the other? Why would you complain about me being 1% over my limit for such a short amount of time when I get to pay interest on that at about 18%?
Why? Because you have hard and fast rules and you would place making more money out of me ahead of serving me as a customer.
Rachel and I are in fact in the market for a home loan, but this experience means I will not go with you. Well done. a $2 piece of plastic just cost you 1 million over 25 years.
As is nature's want, sometimes our smallest creatures are our most delicate.
And so it was with Caboose who died sometime this afternoon. She was unwell yesterday and a little worse this morning, so I placed the heater in the room and scattered seed on the floor of her cage as well as some water in a bottle lid.
She ate a little, drank a little, and even took time to push her ping pong ball for a moment. I sent Rachel a text to say "She looks a little better!"
Rachel came home at 4pm to find her cold little body on the floor of her cage, feet to the sky.
We're going to bury her in the park next to the gum tree she visited once (and sat in!). It's also the tree where I used to pick a small branch of leaves she loved to chew on.
"Thanks to everyone who entered invade rage. There were a huge number of entries, so it has been taking longer than expected to go through them all. We hope to have more news for you, and a winner, very very soon now....
In the meantime, check out one punter who took matters into his own hands instead of waiting to apply!"
Ok not FULLY true, but kinda true... As Rage is celebrating 20 years, I thought I would choose a selection of videos that I saw first on Rage. Then I thought "why not have a Rage-style segment between each song?" That seemed cool. Then I thought "Why not grab the Rage logo and do the Rage blue-sepia look as well?" Done. Final touch was to prepare this as a fully featured youtube playlist and embed it right here...
Rachel and I purchased a new Canon D80 (you google it not me!) and so I've been thinking about how to get said pics online in a timely and efficient manner:
FLICKR! I've had an account for a while, but finally got off my arse and started using it. The upload tool is excellent- resizes AND tags and does all the hard work for you...
It's no secret that I am a bit immature. I call it "forever young".
Getting a clear indicator of how grown up you are is rather difficult: in a stable long term relationship? check. Married? check. Stable income? check-ish.
I'm off to see this pretty much all weekend. Cameron Reilly has me interviewing Paul Marino in a bar somewhere about Machinima and the progress we've seen in the last 12 months.
