Sitting on the couch, watching Brad and Sandra flirting on the late news and I get a news flash of my own; a blood curdling scream with follow up screams and no ad break.
Like a salmon I rise from the couch and head down the hallway with all engines full ahead. Rachel goes past the end of the hall, on her way to the bathroom where she gets into the shower fully clothed and turns the cold up full.
While trying to do up the lid on a hot water bottle she half dropped the bottle, pressing it against her pregnant belly, and emptying some of the boiling contents all over her belly and chest.
At once I see this is bad. There's skin hanging loose and its red and angry. Rachel can take pain like I can take beers, but appears to be in serious pain. I do what any sensible person does faced with such a situation, I call an Ambulance and talk faster than a horse racer caller on crystal meth.
I finally get it all across to them, the MICA arrives ten minutes later, I pack a bag of entirely inappropriate and "mere male" fodder clothes* and Rachel goes of to Cabrini, with me in the car 10 minutes behind.
Of course it turns out ok. Pain reduces, a smile returns, no long term scars, baby is fine, I am wrecked. We get home, cuddle each other and our baby and sleep comes like many drugs.
I go into 3AW this morning and foolishly chose a controversial topic and get fired up and call a listener an idiot for the first time ever.
* the clothes I packed were as follows: One non maternity bra that does not fit, a sports bra, one g-string, one pair of useful undies, one pair of trakkie daks, one pair of slippers two of my t-shirts as "she'll want something loose fitting"
Also I got 37.5 knots on my 9 year old Torquay freeride 272. With a wavesail. That's gotta be a some kinda record...?
See the GPS data track in Google earth here. I think with a speey fin, a wet n' dry and maybe a race sail I could actually get 40 knots out of the old girl.
One Christmas, Santa brought me the Evel doll and motorbike, complete with jump ramps.
The bike had a rip cord AND gyroscopes inside it so it could wheelie like a real bike.
I loved that thing so much. Years later, Mum told me Dad and a friend of his were playing in the hallway (probably half cut) with Evel on Christmas eve. It was that cool a toy.
With Adrian Rowe in tow, we went up to the Toolangi state forest for a visit to the testing site for the Rally Of Melbourne where Neil Bates took me for a wild ride in his Toyota Corolla S2000 class rally car. I have been in cars with several race drivers and I have never, ever seen a driver as busy as a rally driver. Sawing the wheel back and forth like Mr Miyagi's "wax on wax off" scene and more toe tapping than a blues gig, it's a busy office for the rally folk.
I would hasten to add, that until you experience travelling through the bush at warp factor ludicrous... well maybe you haven't lived.
Preparation for driving or leaving your car (and coming back!):
If you have a Diesel car/4WD, then you should shoot for about 50%+ Alpine Diesel (a special fuel with an additive to stop it freezing). Check what time the servo closes if you need Alpine Diesel (or any fuel for that matter!) Mid-week the country town fuel stops are not open very late.
Long term stayers- it's not a bad idea to park off the mountain- check all long term storage issues though (battery, tyres, coolant, oil)
An old tarp/blanket in front of the radiator and over the top of the engine will help insulate the engine bay and minimise any condensation on the engine. Especially useful for older cars.
Apply a small square of masking/duct tape over the door locks to resist icing up. (Otherwise you can't get your key in to open the door!).
Anti freeze, anti boil. You can run very higher ratios of this product in high performance engines, but 40% is fine in most Australian conditions. Note: you must have some water in your radiator as coolant on its own has a high freezing point!
Wiper blades up or down? If you have the new silicone blades they are less prone to freezing and sticking to windscreens. Also, wiper blades up are a dead-set invitation for snow-bogans to snap them off, especially if it's a Melbourne supporter's Range Rover! If you do leave your blades down and they stick, the a few minutes of demisting the windscreen will loosen them just fine.
If you drive an older car with a carby that could be stubborn to start when cold, carry a can of aero-start, it's great stuff.
Add some metho to the wiper/wash reservoir. This will prevent the fluid from freezing and also helps to cut through road grime.
If your battery is having a few problems before you go, then said problems will be exacerbated once in the cold. Get a new one!
Chains:
Cars, diamond pattern only. 4WD either diamond or ladder style, but diamond is the recommended style. In Victoria, chains must be carried at all times from Queens birthday weekend until end of the season. This applies to cars and 4WD's.
SUVs (with the exception of Subaru 4WDs) are not considered 4WDs at some mountains and are required to fit chains at the same time as cars. For those heading to NSW resorts, 4WDs are not required to carry chains. The average penalty for not carrying chains varies, but is generally a $400 fine and 2 or even 3 demerit points.
Carry an old tarp and some rubber gloves to stay drier and cleaner when fumbling around under the car fitting chains.
When parking long term above or in the snowline - reverse in where possible and fit chains prior to parking if snow is forecast. It's a lot easier to extract a vehicle with them already on!
After fitting chains, check them after 200 metres to make certain that they are ok. (do it safely in a chain bay)
Take your chains off when it is safe to do so, but don't go to early as black ice often is below the snowline- especially at night when cars have dropped snow melt.
Driving:
Smooth, smooth all the way. No sudden movements of the wheel on ice and watch for oncoming cars out of control. Keep your wheels turning if you don't have ABS- use "L" in you auto or a low gear in a manual.
Snow is actually easier and safer to drive on than ice, so stay calm in unfamiliar surroundings, but understand snow is your friend. Ice is never your friend (unless its in your G+T in the ski lodge)
No need for low ratio in 4WDs generally speaking. Over revving the engine can be more expensive than a gentle slide into a snow bank.
Stay an extra night if tired and drive home in the morning.
Hazard lights are for when you are in trouble, not for driving with.
Pull over if you are holding up traffic.
Clear snow off your car. It might look cool to arrive in South Yarra with a roof load, but you may create a road hazard, not to mention the roof load of snow landing on your bonnet and blocking your view.
Take a shovel and leave it in a place that's easy to access.
Other issues:
Rental cars are not covered above the snow line.
Comprehensive insurance covers you in the snow.
Keep a storage bin in your boot and stuff your snowy/wet gear in that!
In the week prior to the F1 Grand Prix, I was out at Sandown for the Neil Mitchell show- turning a few laps on air aboard a BMW K1200R:
It was part of the promos for the celebrity race. They were in BMW 120i's and I was on a 200 kilo bike with more horsepower...
The big K1200R hit a cosy 240km/h down the straight. I was under strict orders NOT to crash (of course just as well I was told NOT to crash- coz I just LOVE to chuck it down the road...) so 15km/h extra went begging. Neil was a little concerned... but it was GREAT radio. The audio from the day is a bit fuzzy- but that's how it happened.
Saturday: Where? Elwood Beach Weather? 22-28 knots west/south west Using? 5.3sq m KA Kaos sail, Torquay 272 With? Warwick & Brendan. (but NOT don as he is soft.) For? 4 hrs Rating? 5 out of 5 Why?Oh man that was great. Perfect wind- steady and strong. Perfect direction. I went a little upwind from Elwood Sailing Club and got some huge 4-6m jumps. 12-15 huge forwards- no bail outs all good stuff. I give this five out of five despite the fact that I crashed at high speed while gybing and I'd say I'm 70% certain I've cracked a rib. Never mind, worth it.
"Freestyler and Supermoto racer Mike Metzger suffered a broken back yesterday while performing a back flip for the Discovery Channel near the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California, according to the Long Beach Press Telegram"
While injuries are par-for-the-course in FreestyleMX, I just hope that the Godfather has not lasting effects. This sounds pretty serious and ominous.
If I offered you a million dollars to do the following, would you do it?
- Run around in the sun on a hot day for a few hours.
Sounds bad right? Ok, I'll sweeten it:
- You get a 3 minute break every 5-10 minutes. - Cool drinks and a shade umbrella. Maybe even a fan while you take a break. - You can wear whatever clothing you want. - I will provide a person with a towel every minute or so. - I'll get a crowd to cheer you ever step of the way. Up to 15,000 of them.
If you fail, I'll still give you some money, a car and a driver and adulation.
: "VISTA, Calif. — The largest skateboard ramp in the world can be found on a 12-acre farm north of San Diego among the green foothills of the San Marcos Mountains."
